Things that matter

Years ago I read a short but powerful book, "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff". There was a quote in it that I never forgot those close to me have heard me say it many times over the years, " Ask yourself this question; A year from now will it matter?" I use this when I am going thru tough times to keep me grounded, if it's something that won't matter then it doesn't deserve the energy to worry about. Obviously health is on the top of the that list and until the first week of February it had not come up for me.

 I am one of the fortunate ones that hear the words "you have cancer" and in 2 shorts months hear "you are cancer free". I saw the oncologist today and he doesn't believe it would be beneficial to have chemotherapy. I am fortunate, my cancer was stage 1 with my tumor being stage 2. In layman's terms if I had to get cancer this is exactly the best case scenario. He is confident my surgeon removed all of my cancer and doesn't think there is any part of it left floating around anywhere. The only concern he has is that given my age and not knowing exactly what caused it, I could get a recurrence again. In his opinion the best way to avoid that would be to see him a few times a year and have blood work done to keep on top of it. Also, I will be getting colonoscopy's every year now.
Small trade off for what could have been a much longer and more extensive recovery for me. Again, I am truly one of the lucky ones.

There is however a small trade off (and by small I am being sarcastic). My digestive/colon has a new normal to which I am having challenges on accepting. I will not go in to any detail, although I have had conversations with some of you on this and you know what I'm talking about! I can just say that before having colon resection I took many things for granted in regards to what I ate/drank and how it processed thru my system. I will be participating in a support group(thru Riverside hospital) that I am really looking forward to attending. The group consists of others that had the same procedure and how they handle the daily challenges. I have had a few "feeling sorry for myself" moments regarding this but I keep telling myself I am still here and overall healthy. This is my new normal and I will learn how to live with it.

I have crammed a heck of a lot in the last two months and to say that I've learned from this experience is a major understatement. I am fortunate that thru this I have had the best medical professionals, I will never be able to thank them enough. To me they all seem to do what they do in order to help others, not for the paycheck. And all of you, and the support you have shown leaves me speechless. Thank you, knowing you were all there was a comfort & blessing.

So in closing, when you are going thru a tough time ask yourself if a year from now will this really matter? If it will then it deserves the concern, if not move on and don't give it a second thought.
Your body, listen to what it is telling you. Only you know when things don't seem right and ignoring bad signs do not make them go away. And your family and friends, it's true what they say, you know who your real friends are when things get tough because they are the ones that are there to support you.

Be good to yourselves and enjoy the small stuff. :)

The word for the day is "Remarkable"

Had my appointment today to have the staples removed, not a pleasant experience at all. The good part though was that Dr Wise said I am doing remarkable. :) So good in fact that I will be returning to work 2 weeks ahead of when I previously planned, looks like possibly April 8th. And no that is not me pushing it, the Dr. is the one throwing that out there! I am feeling even better with the staples out and he tells me the difference between how I feel today and how I will feel next week will be huge. So that makes me feel good about the fact I will aggressively continue to feel better. I have been doing everything I was told to do, rest, eat & sleep and of course all of your well wishes & prayers are obviously being heard. I get to start adding things back in to my diet, one at a time to see how my new digestive track reacts to them. I won't be able to lift anything over 5lbs for 6 weeks and as long as I am doing desk work he thinks work would be good for me. It's going to take up to 6 months to get my full energy back but I can adjust to that. I have an appointment scheduled for Friday with the oncologist to get a second opinion on the chemo treatment. Dr Wise said he would like one, I trust whatever he feels is best. How wonderful would it be to hear that I wouldn't need to go through chemo and that in 2 weeks I could start putting this behind me. Either way I will deal with whatever comes next.
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the many, many friends that have made meals, sent gift cards & words of encouragement. It has made things so much easier for all of us, so much that thank you doesn't seem like enough.
The kids are on Spring break this week and Christian will be coming home tomorrow for a few days. It will be nice to have everyone home as I am recouping. All we need is some nicer weather to make things perfect!

Feeling better

I spent the week doing exactly what I was supposed to do.... rest. It has definitely paid off as I am feeling A LOT better after 2 short weeks. I am getting some weird pains in my stomach as my organs are trying to find their original place, but it doesn't last. Dr warned me that the stairs would be tricky but so far they have been fine, just get a little winded if I go up and down too much. On Tuesday I get the staples out and as much as I thought I'd be happy about that it's almost like a security blanket (knowing I have them there to keep things together). Haley and Christian are on spring break this week, I'm very happy to get to spend some time with them. I can't speak for them, I'm sure they would rather be somewhere warmer and not stuck with their ailing mom! I think a lot of my recovery can be attributed to my "bed company", between Haley, Riley and Max theres barely any room for me. But they sure are cute to cuddle with!

Theres good days and bad days

I can really relate to the phrase "one day at a time" right now. Since my surgery (10 days ago) it has been somewhat of a little roller coaster, as it relates to how I feel. I can go a few days and feel like I'm getting better and then one where I feel like I stepped back. Dr. told me this would happen for a few months so it's no unusual. Yesterday was one of those days, woke up feeling good but by the end of the day not so much. And before anyone thinks it, no I did not overdo it trying to do too much! I am doing exactly what my Dr. has told me I can, no more no less. It can be discouraging if you let it, I am committed to not letting it be. So when I woke up this morning I put yesterday behind me and I am confident today will be better! The sun is shining, it's the first day of spring (even if no one told Mother Nature yet) and also John's birthday. Thank goodness I bought his gift before I had surgery (see it pays to be organized). So Happy Birthday John & Happy Spring!

There's no place like home :)

I was able to come home yesterday, I think the Dr. realized I was way beyond my limit with the hospital stay. He was thinking more along the lines of Sunday but said that when his patients are at the point where they know it's time to go home they benefit more by being there. I had a much better night so I guess that proved his point. Here's a good one, he asked me " do you know what makes a good patient ? one that is patient".   I responded that I never said I wanted to be a good patient.
John and Haley(little mother) have been wonderful. I don't get to do much for myself , and yes I am letting them. John does make some mean scrambled eggs, which seem to be one of the things that agree with my new digestive track. It is really weird how you have to ween yourself back in to food, it's something I didn't even think about. I'm thinking it's going to be awhile before I get to enjoy Mexican food.
 I am thinking Max & Riley missed me a little, Riley is laying on my legs as I type this.  Sweet little boy, he finds a comfortable spot and stays there!

  So for those of you that keep telling me to take it easy and rest, definitely looks like I am, doesn't it?
Christian will be coming home later and staying overnight, it will be good to see him. Even though I saw him on Monday I don't remember too much about the day, go figure. :)
Have a great Sunday everyone!


                                           

Hello everyone

Well I made it through surgery fine, little did I know that would be the easiest part! I ended up with an incision about 10-12 inches long, nice staples. The most wonderful news is that Dr. Wise (surgeon) said lymph nodes were clear, yay me. He wants me to see an oncologist though to get a second opinion on the chemo because of my age and all. I'm good with that, happy to have the little alien out. Not gonna lie though, I've never experience anything like this before. Talk about forcing you to slow down! Heck just picking up a tissue off the floor resembles a Saturday Night Live skit. Apologize for not answering the text or calls, it's been a little tricky to just stay awake. Take care everyone, wishing you good health!

Surgery Update 6pm

Good news!

But for the original tumor, all other organs are good as gold. The doctor did remove several lymph nodes. The pathology on those nodes will not be back for another four days. So we wait and pray on that news.

Christian surprised Cathy and came home from school late last night, even after Cathy said she didn't want him to miss classes. She was already asleep when he arrived so she woke up to an awesome gift before heading to the hospital this morning.

Bad news (sorry...there is a little).

The epidural that was to be in place for the next few days to essentially block her pain? Well, it didn't 'take'. Cathy woke up in recovery almost hanging from the ceiling. The team has juiced her up good with some good stuff but at this point, we have no idea if the epidural will be part of her pain management at all.

I can tell you from personal experience, if Cathy is in pain...the pain is incredibly real. That woman has the pain threshold of a dozen soldiers, I swear.

As I type this, John is on his way to pick up a prepared dinner from their good friends and then heading home to eat with Haley. John's brother, Greg, and Cathy's mom are heading back home after waiting it out at the hospital with John and the kids today.

Thanks to all for following along and offering support. So, go off a celebrate a little tonight in our girl's honor! Say a prayer of thanks. Sleep well knowing she's getting wonderful care.

~The Blog Mistress

She's Out Of Surgery!!

I've just received a text saying Cathy is out of surgery, it went well and she's on her way to recovery.

Once I get more information, I will update. Whew! One hurdle down!

~The Blog Mistress

An INCREDIBLE two days!

New York was an awesome experience! We stuffed a heck of a lot in to two days. Haley, Holly and I took in some shopping Wednesday morning and caught a show that night called "Once". We all loved it and would highly recommend it (thanks uncle Pete for the suggestion). Thursday morning bright and early we were in line for our tickets to the Katie Couric show. We were seated in the very first row middle, literally could have reached out and touched Katie, that's how close we were! One of the best things about the experience was being in a room full of others going thru cancer, survivors and those touched by it. There is absolutely nothing else that could have psyched me up for the surgery Monday than that experience. Cancer is not a club you choose to be in, but I have learned that it is one that has the single largest support system than any other. From the first day of this experience I have not felt alone, each day I have felt even stronger just from those around me. Not only from family and friends but from those that have unfortunately preceded me in some form of cancer in their fight. Cancer is cancer, each fight is different but the end goal is the same, to beat it.
I will be the first to admit that prior to this I was unaware of just much cancer impacts the person effected, their family and those who care about them. I lost my father, my grandmother and grandfather all to cancer in a short time. Looking back I pray that in the end they felt the same strength in support that I have felt. I have been asked a lot if I am worried about Monday, I am not. I will not be alone, I have a whole army of people that will be there is spirit and that's all anyone needs.
Thank you all so very much for your thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. And if you would like to watch the Katie show to possibly see my girls and I it will be airing on Wednesday on ABC.

 

 

Out of the mouths of babes

I received a beautiful card from Ms. Ella (niece) yesterday. I text her momma (Heather) to tell Ella I would be taking it to the hospital with me to "brighten" up the room while I was there. Heather sent me a response that I just had to share, sorry Bob couldn't help it....way too cute to keep to myself.


 I shared your text with Ella last night. She asked if you were still sick. I told her you were able to go to work, and the store but you still had the 'oweee' called cancer in your part of the tummy that helps you get the poops out. I know, graphic but I'm not one to lie. Besides, her parents are older, our friends are older, her grandparents are older: death is going to be a real thing for her at a young age. I digress. So, she says, "Is Aunt Cathy's doctor going to go in her mouth and fly down to get the cancer?" I LOVE HER!! And I think it was a brilliant deduction for a 3 1/2 year old. I pulled up my shirt and explained to her the doctor had a special tool to get through your skin. Her big concern was how bad you were going to hurt. I told her you were going to get special medicine to take it all away. :)

My two daughters

I am fortunate I have 2 daughters, one I carried for 9 months and the other I didn't have to! Haley and her best buddy Lizzie both wore shirts today in support of "dress blue day" for colon cancer awareness. Support like this can get anyone through a rough patch, such beautiful girls.

 

 

 

Great questions

I have had some great questions from many of you so I am going to answer here just in case others are wondering.
Is it cancer then? Yes it is absolutely cancer, to be more precise it is a adenocarcinoma. This is the most common type of colon cancer.
Definitely no chemo or radiation? As Dr Wise said he is "cautiously optimistic" that once the lymph nodes are removed they will still show no cancer(he is leaning more towards optimistic but I realize he is trying to keep me prepared either way) The cancer definitely is thru the muscle wall which places it as Stage 1. The success rate after 5 years cancer free is 96%.
Why did they initially say the lymph node was cancerous? A CT scan is done to find if the cancer has moved to another organ. The fact that the lymph node was quite a bit larger would initially indicate it was cancerous, only the ultrasound biopsy can determine either way.
How much time will I be off work(rehab)? It will be 4-6wks, I plan on taking the time I need in order to ensure I am 100% when I go back to work. In my mind I will then be able to put this behind me and move on.
In closing I will say this is the importance of early detection. I myself cannot admit to getting this  immediately looked at when I first noticed something wasn't right. I can however be comforted in the belief that I may have been given a "gift" in the outcome. Going back to one of my earlier posts, I am not a patient person. I push myself more than anyone else ever could(I have wonderful bosses and they certainly don't expect it). I know MANY people that drive themselves just like me.So if there are a few of them that look at this and say it could be me, I really should slow down and listen to my body, then in the end this is all worth it. The emotional roller coaster plain and simply sucks, but it could be much worse. I am blessed.

And the good news keeps coming.

I know many of you have been wandering about by follow up appointment.  It was another day of  goods news amid the obvious "bad" situation. My surgeon informed me that the biopsy results show no cancer in my lymph node even though it is enlarged. In layman's terms I get to move forward with surgery on March 11. But here is the best news of all....once it is removed and they have an opportunity to check the entire node, if it is definitely negative for cancer I do not have to do the chemo and radiation! Yes I said it, NO chemo or radiation. As of right now he has classified it as Stage 1 cancer which has the highest statistical success. The surgery itself sounds pretty rough and I will be in the hospital for 5-8 days but I can honestly say I am thrilled, given the alternative. I do get an epidural for 3 days and those of you that have had them know I will be feeling no pain. :)
I did have another good thing happen. As some of you may know Katie Couric is an advocate for colon cancer (she lost her husband to it). Her show is doing a taping on colon cancer awareness on Thursday of next week. Tickets submissions had to include a paragraph on "why" you should participate and I am excited to say I received 3! I will be taking my best daughter ever, along with my dear friend Holly to New York next week to attend the taping. When someone from the show called to see if I would be attending I told her that unless I start treatment or have surgery I would be there.
I am absolutely convinced that this has to be some type of life lesson that I was meant to go thru. A month ago I would never have thought to just take a few days off to attend anything, now look at me.
I can't even begin to say how humbled I am by the support I have received from everyone. It is all of the positive energy and prayers that have made this so much easier for me to take. I once again find myself saying thank you for thinking of my family and I and know that we feel your support.

Just sharing.....

I wanted to share this email that Uncle Pete sent me. It is all the support I am getting that makes me feel like I am not alone.  I am looking forward to being the support others need once this is behind me. Thank you Uncle Pete & Aunt Kay

 

 

Dear Cathy and John and Christian and Haley,

We are holding you close to our hearts tonight and sending good thoughts, prayers.  Just remember, there are good cancer stories out there.  I have heard many of them in my travels as a myeloma patient ambassador/speaker, and I am one of those  stories myself. 

Yes, the  word stops you in your tracks and changes all sorts of things--mostly about what is really important in life.  The small stuff is consigned permanently to the  small stuff pile.   And while

no one probably needs that much improvement, the psychologist who interviewed me for my stem cell transplant told me that "cancer makes everyone better."  (I thought, wryly, at the time, that I had been working on the content of my character for long enough. maybe??)  But I will say
this:  it brought my brother and I back together in a way I wouldn't have thought.  I shall be eternally grateful for that.

We shall think of you every day.  And when things get the scariest, just imagine a whole circle of us standing around you.  You will not fall.  And if I can help you in any way, please let me know.

One of the educational outreach people from Millennium Pharmaceuticals (they fund my travels) is a colorectal cancer survivor.  I like her very much.

Our blessings and love,

Aunt Kay and Uncle Peter

A Post From The Blog Mistress.

You've all seen Cathy's TGIF post and we share her relief in getting over the ultrasound hurdle, especially after how her week started.

I'm Cathy's sister-in-law and am trying to help her navigate through the world of blogging. Just a few moments ago, I changed the settings so that any one of you can now post comments to her updates. Make sure you include your name at the end of the comment so she knows which cheerleader is cheering her on.

Keep her posted if you're still having issues after this fix. I'll dive back in to see what I can do.

And what she said - go do something fun this weekend!

TGIF

Ultrasound went well, bonus was that I was put under and don't remember any of it! Some good news to report, if the biopsy results show the cancer is not in the muscle wall then I may be able to have surgery first. I will find out on Tuesday either way, I'll be holding my breath till then. I really can't say enough about how wonderful the medical professionals have been. I am learning so much about all of the support available for cancer patients, it is overwhelming. I received an invitation for a celebration at Riverside hospital on 2/28 for Colon cancer awareness month (March). I'm really looking forward to attending if possible. I realize I haven't mentioned John and the kids much, they seem to be doing pretty good. John has been a big help with everything, I'm sure you would all expect that knowing him...... I have to keep top of mind that even though they put up a good front this is not easy for them.
I am absolutely addicted to Pinterest (along w/ many of my friends), I find so many inspirational quotes that I just have to start sharing. This is the one I found the day after hearing my diagnosis, seemed perfect.
Have a great weekend everyone, do something fun.

 

Miracles do happen

Amazing how things can change in 3 days. I received a call yesterday from the gastric Dr saying that they could get me in tomorrow for my ultrasound. So I go from feeling devastated on Monday to elated on Wednesday. Little did I know that the best family Dr in the world (Dr Butcher) made a follow up call to see if they could get me in any earlier. Let me just put this out there now that she is the best! Her concern and follow up since my initial diagnosis has been humbling to say the least, she has been on top of everything. Including my emotional support. I am certain the prayers of my family and friends also played a huge part in my appointment getting moved up. Thank you all! So one of my bff's Holly came down from Toledo tonight to take me to my procedure, I really am blessed. So to wrap it up, once the ultrasound is done I can start chemo/radiation. I say bring it on, let's get this going in order to get it done. Keep the prayers coming, they are working already!

Patience

I'm learning very quickly that my lack of patience is going to be one of my biggest challenges. Finally spoke to my Gastric specialist today and it looks like they can't get me in for my ultrasound until March 6th. That was a bit of a tough one for me. I guess I was really hoping to get this started so that I could get it over with. I can't start chemo and radiation until that is done, so I wait. Once I get the ultrasound done Dr. says I will start both right away. It's going to be a 6 week cycle then I will get 6 weeks off for what he jokingly referred to as "vacation"(no treatment for 6 weeks). Okay.....I can think of many other things to consider vacation and none of then involve my colon!  After roughly 12 weeks I will get surgery to remove what I confident will be a cancer free portion of my colon. I really need to get used to the fact that I'm not in control on this one, and those of you who know me well know that it's not going to be easy.
The good news is that I feel pretty good, aside from the usual symptoms that led me to the Dr in the first place.  So I wait, and while I'm waiting I will be working on my patience.
Thank you all for the support, I really am blessed with family & friends.

The beginning

I have a creative sister in law Heather (aka Bob).She started a blog to when in the process of adopting an angel from China. It kept everyone up to date on what was going on in a interesting, funny and sometimes heart wrenching detail.  (And great pictures!)
I on the other hand am not creative, lack a lot when it comes to the writing details that make people smile, and picture taking is not my forte. No worries, my purpose of starting this blog is to merely keep my wonderful family and friends up to speed on what is going on with my Cancer. Yeah I said it cancer, colon cancer to be specific, well actually to be even more specific colorectal cancer. First time I said it out loud it seemed so surreal, like it wasn't really me saying it. Not for a second did I ever think that talking about my colon would be in my day to day conversation, but it is, and it will be for at least the next 5 months. I have to say I've moved on past the "shock & awe" as I call it. In the words of a good friend of mine (who incidentally has a 2 yr old going thru brain cancer) , "no day will be as bad as that first day". She didn't know if it would make me feel any better, it did. Thanks Amy.
My biggest concern was my kids Haley (16) and Christian (20), I was initially so worried about how to tell them and how they would process it. Let's just say they made their momma proud. And my husband John, who comes from a long, long line of criers has been doing great. Guess maybe they are worried for me. No need to be, I just know everything will be just fine. So as I head in to next week to get an ultrasound I begin what I have lovingly named My Beautiful Struggle. I will be starting radiation and chemo in the very near future so I have a feeling this blog will come in handy, because as much as I LOVE talking on the phone to update everyone on whats going on I just may not feel up to it.
In closing I will not lecture and you will only hear me say this one time (can't promise that), but....colonoscopy. Get one if you are due, if your not (like me) and are having problems just get it over with, it's worth your life. I have no family history and am way under the standard for getting one and look at me. :)